Swim Meet at MSU

Here she is with a couple of her swim friends, all 3 go to different schools. It was a good meet but I think she was hoping she would do even better. She had significant time improvements in her 200 Free and 500 Free, but I think she was hoping for more. And then her other 2 swims she was about the same as her PR, but not getting faster so she was a little frustrated with that. She was seeded in the top 2 heats for 3 of her events (with there 11-15 heats in those events) so that was good for her to be in those top heats, but she was one of the slowest in her heat, so she wasn't winning her heat to win a duck (they gave out rubber ducks to heat winners) so she was bummed about that too. She was pretty hard on herself even though she did have good time improvements and the coach was even harder on her after each of her events. It is quite frustrating for me, mom, to watch him be so negative to her. He only has his one way of coaching and it is to tell them what they are doing wrong and what they need to fix without telling them what they did right. I know how my daughter learns and responds best and there has to be some positive encouragement in there, too much negativity and she is going to shut down and block you out - doesn't matter if it is a sport, academics or about something socially. I am sure that is how many people are.

She is a good swimmer, but not a great one. She will never be competitive enough to get a scholarship for swimming and will not go to Zones or Nationals. And unfortunately, at practices most of the head coach's attention goes to those handful on the team that are the great swimmers. That is just how it is. We can't all be great at everything, but that doesn't mean we aren't good enough. That is just how it is for many of us in many things. We are good at things, but not great. We have to celebrate the small victories we have because that is what we have or we will get down on ourselves that we are not great and start believing we are not good enough for others. It is crummy when other people make you feel like you are not good enough, but it is awesome when people are willing to help lift you up.

Recently, her main teacher at school told me he was recommending her for this nationally recognized science camp. (He is also her advisor for the High Potential Program, which is an after school program for gifted & talented kids that she has been in since 3rd grade.) I looked at the cost and immediately laughed because if we had that much money sitting around to send her to one science camp (which is more than my budget for all 3 months of activities, camps, & classes for BOTH kids) we would be putting that in her 529 Plan to save even more money for college. Plus, it's out of state, so we have transportation costs on top of the camp fee. I let him know she will be honored to know he is even recommending her, but that the cost is way out of our budget and if there was something in our state & at a much more reasonable cost we are happy to send her to camp. She is good at science, she may even be on her way to being great at science. Maybe some day that will be was she really excels at, but what I want for my kids is for them to be happy, to feel loved, to have some friends and to be good people.

I celebrate all the small victories that my kids have because I love them and am proud of them. If we only look at the negative of everything, than what is there to be positive about. Sure, my daughter's basketball team hasn't won a game yet this year but that doesn't mean we haven't seen improvements in all of them and her coach for that has really been a really good coach for 6th graders. She had a HUGE learning curve when doing this sport and still has much to learn, but she is getting better. He understands they are all still learning and trying to get them out there playing as equally as possible so that they are all learning the skills and working with them to work as a team. Of course he needs to ride them and perhaps yell at them from time to time, but his encouragement and direction given in a positive manner far outweighs those times.

To be honest, I wasn't sure how basketball was going to go for her this year since she has never played (other than gym class and HORSE in the driveway), but about a month in to the season when she stopped being so sore from using muscles in ways she doesn't in swim and using different muscle groups, she started saying practice was good. We started talking about the summer and she wants to do the basketball camp the Varsity girls coach offers during the summer so she can get better and play in 7th grade.

I am not sure where her path in life is leading her. She is trying everything and she tries her best at most everything she does. And I am here to love her and encourage her and guide her. I am here to lift them up (while still being realistic, let's not leave that out) and if I am all emotional right now it is just because I love my kids so much and just want then to be happy, to feel loved, to have some friends and to be good people.