Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I Get Concerned Sometimes

I was rushing this morning, trying to get all of my various morning things out of the way. 30 minutes earlier, J went through the same routine -- running out the door in a flurry. How do we do that with a kid? How early do I need to wake up?

It's these things that concern me. Not just this, but all of the time issues.

I work a 'regular' job. I leave the house at 8AM, drive an hour to work, I'm there from 9AM-6PM+, then I drive an hour+ home. On an average night, I get home at about 7:30. What time do young kids go to sleep -- 8:00? So, I get exactly 30 minutes a day to spend with my child.

That sucks. A lot.

How am I going to be an involved parent? How do I create a tight bond with my child when I never get to see him/her?

Moving closer to work isn't an option, and I could never make the type of money I make working closer to home. I could get to work earlier, but I'd still end up being here until 6PM most days. My company talks about flex time, but it's a tough sell for someone that manages people and processes.

I love both of my parents, and would never say anything bad about how they raised me. The did a good job, especially considering I was one of four holigan boys! But I don't remember my dad being around a whole lot when I was younger, and he had the luxury of shorter hours and a short commute.

I want to be there for my kid(s).

The other problem is weekends. For the last 5 years, I've been spending much of my time working on the house or on cars. If that's my only free time, I'm going to want to spend it with my family. Who's going to fix the plumbing if I'm taking junior to a soccer game? (An actual plumber, I suppose...)

I'm VERY EXCITED to be having a baby. But I want to be the best Dad possible. How do I juggle everything?

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